Preeti

अखेरचे येतिल माझ्या हेच शब्द ओठी
लाख चुका असतिल केल्या, केली पण प्रीती

इथे सुरू होण्याआधी संपते कहाणी
साक्षीला केवळ उरते डोळ्यांतिल पाणी
जखम उरी होते ज्यांच्या तेच गीत गाती

सर्व बंध तोडुनि जेव्हा नदी धुंद धावे
मीलन वा मरण पुढे हे तिला नसे ठावे
एकदाच आभाळाला अशी भिडे माती

गंध दूर ज्याचा आणिक जवळ मात्र काटे
असे फूल प्रीती म्हणजे कधी हाय वाटे
तरी गंध धुंडित धावे जीव तुझ्यासाठी

आर्त गीत आले जर हे कधी तुझ्या कानी
गूज अंतरीचे कथिले तुला या स्वरांनी
डोळ्यांतुन माझ्यासाठी लाव दोन ज्योती

-o-

Literal Translation

Finally only these words will come to my lips
A hundred thousand mistakes I may have made, but I loved

Here before it starts the story ends
As witness only remain tears in the eyes
Those who are wounded in the heart, only they sing a song

Breaking all bounds when the river intoxicated runs
Whether union or death lies ahead she does not know
Only once the sky thus meets earth

That whose scent is far and thorns but near
Such a flower is love which sometimes feels like a loss
Yet life runs searching fragrance for you

If this yearnful song ever comes to your ears
An inner secret is narrated to you by these notes
In your eyes for me light two flames

-o-

This is a song of unrequited love. You can hear it here http://aathavanitli-gani.com/Song/Akherache_Yetil_Majhya and here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJKMFEcePK4.

But there is confusion in it. The opening is as if the poet is singing from a deathbed, which is not relevant to the emotion. Earth meeting the sky, even if only once, is counter to the unrequited nature of this love. Asking the loved one to light up her (equally, his) eyes on hearing this song is rather demanding, unless (connecting to the deathbed) the loved one is the poet’s child – but then why unrequited?

Some of these aspects are addressed in the poetic translation, in hexametric couplets.

-o-

Poetic Translation

I must amend
    A million faults, but I have loved
        O I have loved
A love that lasts to the very end

Before the start
    With wordless lips this tale is done
        The tears remain
And only sings the wounded heart

The river flows
    Its fate unknown, without a breath
        To the sea or death
Just [Alt: Not] once to heaven earth ever rose

Lifelong for you
    I seek the fragrance of the flower of love
        With thorns below
And its evanescent hue

Should ever arise
    The notes of this song, know you are loved
        O you are loved
And let that love light your luminous eyes

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3 thoughts on “Preeti

  1. This one did not rise to the level of attempting a second version, due both to the original and the translation. The main purpose was to smooth out the anomalies in the original and present purely the unrequited love.

  2. And yet, here goes (pentametric):

    With a lonely love
        That lasts to the end
            I loved,

    And a wordless song
        In the wounded heart
            hidden kept;

    Unheeding, the river
        To the sea or death
            Has flowed,

    The fragrance of love
        Aloof, thorn-guarded,
            Has slept;

    Never will murmur
        The notes of my song
            In your skies,

    And yet my love
        Secretly lights
            Your pellucid eyes

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